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In the spring of 1983, a North American couple who were hoping to adopt a child internationally received word that if they acted quickly, they could become the parents of a boy in an orphanage in Honduras. Layers of red tape dissolved as the American Embassy there smoothed the way for the adoption. Within a few weeks, Margaret Ward and Thomas de Witt were the parents of a toddler they named Nelson—an adorable boy whose prior life seemed as mysterious as the fact that government officials in two countries had inexplicably expedited his adoption.In Missing Mila, Finding Family, Margaret Ward tells the poignant and compelling story of this international adoption and the astonishing revelations that emerged when Nelson's birth family finally relocated him in 1997. After recounting their early years together, during which she and Tom welcomed the birth of a second son, Derek, and created a family with both boys, Ward vividly recalls the upheaval that occurred when members of Nelson's birth family contacted them and sought a reunion with the boy they knew as Roberto. She describes how their sense of family expanded to include Nelson's Central American relatives, who helped her piece together the lives of her son's birth parents and their clandestine activities as guerrillas in El Salvador's civil war. In particular, Ward develops an internal dialogue with Nelson's deceased mother Mila, an elusive figure whose life and motivations she tries to understand.
- Sales Rank: #1734899 in eBooks
- Published on: 2012-06-15
- Released on: 2012-06-15
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"The greatest contribution of this book, aside from the fact that the Ward and Escobar/Coto families' stories are compelling in their own right, is the telling of an ultimately courageous narrative about what is possible in the aftermath of atrocious human rights violations in Central America. Not just gangs of torturers, mafias of demobilized militaries, the victories of neoliberalism, and mass migration, but rich, complex lives marked by possibility and - if one can say it without being trite - healing." - Laura Briggs, University of Massachusetts "One of the most remarkable books I've read this year is Missing Mila, Finding Family by Margaret Ward, which leaves me with a strong sense that the adoption debate could be - should be - different. It is also a profoundly particular - and hence human - story about how two families, one Salvadoran, one in the U.S., work through their understanding of a wrenching series of events, including death, adoption, and the loss of a child, and somehow come out the other side with an extraordinary measure of grace...The greatest contribution of this book, though, aside from the fact that the Ward's and Escobar/Coto's families' stories are compelling in their own right, is the telling of an ultimately courageous narrative about what is possible in the aftermath of atrocious human rights violations in Central America." - Laura Briggs, somebodyschildren.com
About the Author
Professor of German Emerita, Margaret E. Ward taught at Wellesley College from 1971 to 2010. A prize in her name is awarded each year to an outstanding senior major in Women and Gender Studies in recognition of Ward’s contribution to the establishment of that department. She has published on Bertolt Brecht, post-1945 political drama, and women’s biography, including a book on Fanny Lewald, a nineteenth-century novelist and advocate of women’s education.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
An incredible journey of empathy and love ...
By Karen Hurst
Margaret Ward has written an extraordinary book about her family's international adoption. This true story is gripping and compelling. The author writes with scholarly accuracy and emotional clarity about her family's experiences. She details the history of the El Salvador dictatorship and the subsequent revolution. This book describes the journey of learning about their adopted son's family of origin and embracing them. Ward takes us on a remarkable journey of compassion, empathy and love.
The pinnacle of the book is the author's mental dialogue with her adopted son's mother and her wrenching decision to become a revolutionary while she was a mother.
The quality of the writing is superb and the lessons we take from this book are timeless and profound.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Missing Mila
By Laila
Several months have passed since I read Missing Mila, Finding Family, and this compelling true story told by Margaret Ward remains in my mind. Parents quickly called to Honduras to meet their to-be-adopted son, mystery surrounding the boy's previous life, the whirlwind of emotions unleashed by Nelson's birth family relocating him in 1997, and the families coming together and forming strong bonds, all grasp the reader's attention from cover to cover. Nelson's deceased mother Mila's elusive presence is central to the story, as is the backdrop of the Salvadoran Civil War, where Nelson's birth parents were involved in clandestine activities as guerrillas. Beautifully written, carefully researched, heartwarming, and very highly recommended.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Extraordinary
By Ann Grantham
Beneath the clearly written history of a far off Salvadoran civil war is the emotional account of a family who adopted a homeless child, only to learn 14 years later that he was being sought by his birth family. What follows is the coming to grips with this reality - with the voices of many involved individuals, resulting in a redefined sense of family love.
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