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Thanks to technology, we live in a world that’s much more comfortable than ever before. But here’s the paradox: our tolerance for discomfort is at an all-time low. And as we wrestle with a sinking “discomfort threshold,” we increasingly find ourselves at the mercy of our primitive instincts and reactions that can perpetuate disease, dysfunction, and impair performance and decision making.
Designed to keep us out of danger, our limbic brain’s Survival Instinct controls what we intuitively do to avert injury or death, such as running out of a burning building. Rarely are we required to recruit this instinct today because seldom do we find ourselves in situations that are truly life-threatening. However, this part of our brain is programmed to naturally and automatically react to even the most benign forms of discomfort and stress as serious threats to our survival.
In this seminal book we learn how the Survival Instinct is the culprit that triggers a person to overeat, prevents the insomniac from sleeping, causes the executive to unravel under pressure, leads travelers to avoid planes or freeways, inflames pain, and due to past heartache, closes down an individual to love. In all of these cases, their overly-sensitive Survival Instinct is being called into action at the slightest hint of discomfort. In short, their Survival Instinct is stuck in the “ON” position…with grave consequences.
Your Survival Is Killing You can transform the way you live. Provocative, eye-opening, and surprisingly practical with its gallery of strategies and ideas, this book will show you how to build up your “instinctual muscles” for successfully managing discomfort while taming your overly reactive Survival Instinct. You will learn that the management of discomfort is the single most important skill for the twenty-first century. This book is, at its heart, a modern guide to survival.
- Sales Rank: #394280 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-03-21
- Released on: 2013-03-21
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
Recommended for best in self-help reading by Oprah.com
“Compelling. Readers with an interest in the mind-body connection will find this guide to better health compelling. Schoen does an excellent job in explaining the complicated science behind them.”—USA Today
“[Reprogram] the brain to no longer equate discomfort with imminent danger, and achieve a state of ease despite life’s inevitable hardships.”—Wall Street Journal
“Schoen provides exercises and techniques to tame the anxiety monster and the mayhem it causes. Relief is in sight.”—Success Magazine
“A useful new book. So many solopreneurs are held back by often-irrational fears — if this is true for you then this book is for you.”—Forbes
“What you'll learn: You have the power to change areas of your life that you may previously have thought were impossible to control, whether it's how you age, how you deal with stressful situations or that "need" for a third helping of ice cream before bed. A book that can enhance every aspect of your life, from your mind to your body to your spirit.”—Examiner.com
“Discomfort training (which helps people conquer their fear and make better decisions) would unquestionably lead to substantial improvements in worker productivity, performance and health. Train your brain to lift decision making.”—Investor’s Business Daily
“Amazing. I love this book.”—Patricia Fitzgerald, Huffington Post
“This book can improve your outlook on life”—Scientific American
“[This book is] short on theory and long on practical tips you can actually use. One let me reduce my heart rate by 6 to 8 bpm in less than a minute. Take that, Zen masters! Need to better manage discomfort and stress so you can perform better? (Wait--why am I asking? Who doesn’t?) This is your book.”—INC Magazine
“This book is outstanding . . . Dr. Schoen is unconventional, and so is this book. Ancient wisdom with new findings in brain research lead to a startling conclusion: What has allowed our species to survive is driving us crazy. There is something you can do about it—read this book, and follow its advice. Reading this book is like having a conversation with Dr. Schoen and that can change your life.”—David Logan, Ph.D., New York Times #1 bestselling co-author of Tribal Leadership and The Three Laws of Performance; professor, USC (University of Southern California), Marshall School of Business
“Dr. Marc Schoen knows what it takes to be resilient and healthy in these modern times. It is not, as some would have you believe, to replace feelings of pain and discomfort with feelings of safety and comfort, but rather to allow these seemingly incompatible feelings to sit side by side to inform and shape one another. Grounded in solid theory and evidence as well as engaging stories, including his own, this book is a must-read for anyone facing mysterious physical ailments.”—Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., author of Positivity and Love 2.0
“I know so well how easy it is to fall into the trap of using food, addictions, or other forms of avoidance as protection from my fears of being uncomfortable. Reading Dr. Schoen’s book was challenging. It felt so close to home—almost too close and personal in fact. Yet as I came to understand the message of this book, it became so much more obvious to me. This book is about the unavoidable—being uncomfortable. Dr. Schoen’s book offers a gift: how to successfully manage your discomfort and fears, and equally as important, how to use the discomfort in your life as a vehicle for empowerment.”—Carnie Wilson, celebrity, singer, TV host, and author of Gut Feelings, I’m Still Hungry and To Serve with Love
“Dr. Schoen puts his attention to the discomfort, disappointment, worry, and impatience that influence the quality of our lives profoundly but about which science and medicine are so often silent. He does a brilliant job of connecting brain research and our everyday coping strategies. Readers will find new ways of understanding and mobilizing the mind-body connection for stress management.”—Sara Latz, J.D., M.D., clinical professor of medicine, UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior
“The essence of success is age old . . . Work Hard, Work Smart, and Manage Your Fear. Dr. Schoen has unlocked the essence of fear and discomfort management. This is a must-read for any human that has ever started or thought of starting their own business. A fast-paced impact treatise for everyone who wants to win!”—Robin Richards, CEO of Vivendi Universal Net USA; founding president, COO, and director of MP3.com, Inc.; chairman and CEO, Internships.com; recipient of Inc. Magazine’s 2007 Entrepreneur of the Year Award
“Dr. Schoen, an experienced hypnotherapist, has written an informative book to counter stress and heal your body. He teaches you to develop positive habits and lead a more powerful, productive life.”—Judith Orloff, M.D., bestselling author of Emotional Freedom, Second Sight, and Positive Energy; assistant clinical professor, UCLA Geffen School of Medicine
About the Author
Marc Schoen, PhD, is an assistant clinical professor of medicine at UCLA Geffen School of Medicine. He lives in Los Angeles.
Kristen Loberg is a New York Times bestselling collaborator. A graduate of Cornell University, she lives in Los Angeles.
Most helpful customer reviews
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Practical Advice and Some Interesting Techniques
By Book Fanatic
The problem this book deals with is nothing new. Stress or "discomfort" using the term of the author is killing us. It's an adaptation that no longer servers us in the modern and relatively safe world. Nothing new there.
The author however has some interesting and very practical advice on how to connect these feelings of discomfort with other positive feelings such as a challenge in order to mitigate their harmful effects and even in fact turn them into a positive. Some of his "fifteen" techniques aren't anything new such as taking technology breaks and connecting with real people. However he does introduce some rather unique and useful ideas.
This book has Amazon's "Search Inside" feature and I recommend you take advantage of it and preview the book before you buy.
Recommended.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Comfort is Overrated
By D. Schultz
This book is brilliant! I encourage one to read and re-read it. While its title initially intrigued me, it almost made me turn away. The thought that something within me, which is innately designed to help me survive, could also be turning against me was troubling. Turns out, my close-call with avoidance of reading this book (a potential uncomfortable experience) is exactly the book's point. We're all becoming increasingly uncomfortable with being uncomfortable, so we avoid it at all costs. If I'm correctly understanding the premise, our non-stop, multi-tasking, never-slow-down world, where our brain rarely gets a break, is setting off a series of chemical reactions between the limbic and cerebral parts of our brain, causing us to be in higher states of what Schoen calls agitance, ultimately causing our survival instinct to be set on code red 24/7. Imagine, always being in fight or flight mode.
So, naturally, we work to avoid discomfort (what our brain is translating as life-threatening), and maladaptive habits form, such as addictions, compulsive disorders, physical illnesses, insominia, protective and avoidance habits, etc. The more we avoid uncomfortable experiences, the less tolerance we develop for being uncomfortable, causing our limbic brain (the emotional part of the brain) to view all forms of discomfort as fear, and a threat to our survival. To make matters worse, the limbic brain is innately designed to bypass the cerebral (logic) brain when survival is at risk. So, logic is literally bypassed.
I like how thoroughly Schoen explains what is happening in our heads. It's empowering. Though, my favorite part of the book is part two, where Schoen provides 15 strategies that can literally turn this chemical and emotional reaction around (a kind of rewiring of it) before it completely rewires us. Essentially, Schoen is giving us the tools to train ourselves to be more comfortable with being uncomfortable, and to develop a better relationship with pain and discomfort, with life, really. These strategies are not complicated. I've tried a couple. As Schoen explains it, he's helping us to turn our "sources of discomfort into sources of power."
I left a lot out, of course, like Schoen's long and distinguished career in this field, his research, case study examples, and other facts and studies that substantiate his work and strategies. In the end, it looks like FDR was right about fear. And, in this case, what you don't know is hurting you.
I'm a really strong person who has faced many physical and emotional challenges, yet, I know I have more recently developed some avoidance habits, and it was beginning to affect how I reacted to people and situations. What wasn't killing me was no longer making me stronger; on the contrary, it was beginning to weaken and change me. I'm going on a cruise to Europe today, and I intend to begin incorporating Schoen's 15 Strategies into my life, beginning with #12, "Taking a Breather."
Diane L. Schultz
Freelance Magazine and Feature Writer
Edwards, CO
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
This Book Turns "New Age Pablum" on Its Head
By Book-Movie-Music Lover
Everyone's looking for ways to solve their problems and alleviate the pain in their lives. The current rage in New Age books is to suggest that you can achieve a perfectly happy life by "just thinking positive thoughts." Do that, and everything will work out. "Read our books. Attend our seminars. Buy our tapes. Do what we say, and life will be glorious."
Of course, this drivel doesn't work. If it did, people would stop buying these books, because their problems would have been solved, and their pain would have been relieved.
"Your Survival Instinct is Killing You" turns all of this nonsense on its head. And it does so without the author even feeling a need to point the finger at New Age silliness. He focuses on what does work, not what doesn't.
The book's basic premise can be summarized in one sentence, straight off page 26 of the book: "You need to become more comfortable with being uncomfortable."
From there, the author skillfully explains why it is important to experience life as it is, and then respond appropriately.
I won't give away his insights and solutions, but, trust me, they are remarkable. I have read thousands of books in my life, and only rarely do I find one that offers truly new and useful information. This is definitely one of them.
Congrats to the author. This is masterful work.
I know that a lot of people who write books and release movies ask their friends and family members to write glowing "reviews" on this site to beef up sales. Feel free to click on my "See All My Reviews" link, and you will find that I am not one of those shills. I am a completely independent and objective reviewer. I don't even know the author.
This is just a really good book that will change your life if you follow the author's recommendations.
It will be especially useful to New Age devotees who are tired of "doing nothing" and wondering why life doesn't work out.
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